this topic is near to my heart, and i feel like all of us go through this as moms to some degree or another. you see, growing up i was always pretty shy until i hit my teenage years and especially after i graduated from high school. i was comfortable with myself and my life, i was social, and i had no problem expressing myself. i had my own style and i was comfortable and confident in what i wore. i was just confident. in fact, so much so that i told people i was hot shit. (no joke)
and then i got pregnant with olive and was basically on bed rest because i was so sick. not officially but i stayed in bed in our tiny apartment, alone my whole pregnancy. and then i had olive and my world completely changed in so many ways. but, i want to focus mainly on The Mom Bubble as i like to call it.
i was completely focused on my little baby, which is how it should be. and gave little time for myself. i slowly stopped hanging out with friends and soon it was just me and olive. every day. all day. until dave came home from work. just imagine for a minute, if you don't have kids, or maybe you moms can relate.... being with babies all day long. 24/7. people get depressed. people get lonely. and mom's become a different person. dave likes to call it "mom mode", i am always in mom mode.
this mom bubble is serious business. don't get me wrong, i LOVE my life. i love my children. i love my husband. i overall am HAPPY with where i am in life. but being in this mom bubble, digging myself deeper and deeper as the days pass. i am not myself anymore. i'm not the sarah that i was before. i barely know myself!
i spend my days, my hours talking to CHILDREN. i am back in my shy bubble, and i honestly am so awkward when i come in contact with adults. hahahaha! it's like i only know how to talk to kids now. i'm sure you have heard of mom guilt too? i want an hour to myself at the end of a long day, but when it comes down to it, i feel guilty for even wanting that time.
but hello, we NEED it!! to be the best mommy's we can be, we can't forget to make time for ourselves. IT'S SO IMPORTANT!!! we need "me time", we need adult time, we need girls nights! when we get sucked into this bubble we lose ourselves, we become depressed and we feel lonely.
and i'm so sad that i let myself fall so deep into my mom bubble, i was saying to dave just the other day that i missed my friends and that i needed to find some mom friends. i feel like in this mom community it's all about PLANNING PLANNING PLANNING! and although i know this is necessary at times- we all have naps + preschool + activities to work around! but i want friends that i can call up and say "hey! i'm coming over!" i don't care if your house is a mess or that you're all in your pajama's still. or "hey! lets go get starbucks, or go to lunch!" i want friends that we can be ourselves around. all this mom judging is ridiculous! trying to impress everyone you encounter is SO EXHAUSTING! i miss having fun and i miss being my happy go lucky self!
so with that being said. the mom bubble is normal, but don't let it trap you like it has myself!! you are all amazing mother's and if you feel like you are lonely,YOU ARE NOT ALONE! we are all there with you! in order to be the best mother you can be, you need to be confident, you need to be strong, be an example for your little people!
so instead of judging how other mom's parent or how clean their house is, how skinny they are or i can't believe she hasn't lost the baby weight yet! or she has cuter clothes than me and she has nicer things. let's all be friends. LIKE, REAL COOL MOMS!!
as mother's we need to be there for each other because we can all relate in so many ways. we can boost each other's confidence, we can be each other's shoulder to cry on, we can be a confidant to each other, we can be crazy with each other. and we don't always have to be in mom mode! because we are cool even as moms, and we are hot shit, and we are strong and brave! we're mom's!!
"successful mother's are not the ones who have never struggled. they are the one's that never give up despite the struggles. -sharon jaynes"
i started a REAL COOL MOMS PLAY GROUP on facebook, it is private just because we all want to protect our families and babies. but i want you all to be apart of it!! so come find me and request to join! let's build this mom community because we are all cool moms!!!!
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