being a mother

i just need to take a minute and express how thankful i am for the life i have, specifically the chance i have to be a mother.  becoming a mom has been the best thing to ever happen to me!! it has been my dream ever since i can remember. and i am so so lucky that i am a mom.

i never imagined that the mom life would be as difficult as it can be, never. why that thought never crossed my mind.... i'm not sure! sometimes i go a little crazy! it is definitely 24/7. i don't get to lay in bed for 30 minutes trying to process actually getting up (unless of course i am actually sticking to my fitness goals, and freaking waking up when my alarm goes off!) nope. when the girls are up- i am up. even if that means i am sleep walking + sleep cooking for a little while. i do dishes every day, i sweep, i clean, i do laundry, i cook, i pick up 578 million times a day, i wipe butts, i clean snotty noses, i wipe tears, i break apart fights. i do it alllllllll. but you know what? it's my jam.

at times i feel empty, because i do this mom thing full time. i do get time to work out when i make time for it, or i get to hang out with my husband without kids once or twice a month. but sometimes i just want something for me.  like a hobby. that i actually love. that i get to do + be a mom! and i beat myself up over it because i have yet to find that missing piece. and wonder why.

and it hit me. you were meant to be a mom sarah!! being a mom is. my. jam. people!!!! and they are young, and they need me. right now. in this moment. every moment. and i need them. and what i should be focusing on is raising my kids. and i am so grateful that i get the chance to stay home with them and watch them learn and grow every single day. i need to stop taking that for granted!

i have learned sooooooo much over the past three and a half years. i've cried a lot, laughed a lot and smiled a lot.  because these little humans make me so dang happy!! i look at them every single day and think they are so perfect and that i made them!!!! gosh i love them, dave and i are so lucky.

so while i see everyone else "doing things with their lives", i need to think well i am doing something with my life too, and it's amazing!!! 

so live in the moment with your little people. watch them learn, watch their excitement over little things, watch them be the amazing little people that they are!! because it's not going to last forever, and one day you will want it all back and wish you could experience each stage one more time!

it amazes me how fast time flies when you have children you are raising! in a blink of an eye they are going to be grown up! and to be honest, that makes me really sad! but i also can't wait to see the amazing people they will grow up to be!

"motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. it is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in, it is what God gave you time for." -neil l. anderson